Thursday, April 19, 2018

Discernment

You don’t mess with somebody’s someone.

That’s all the discernment that was needed.

I received an apology from the other woman this morning but I’m not sure if it was genuine in nature. Did she want my blessing? Did she want to save face? Or, was a guilty conscience really eating away at her?

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume the latter should she have told me that she was finished being played by him as well. Instead, she is currently praying about the situation and evaluating. It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?

The situation is black and white. Whether she wants acceptance from me or not, to which I won’t be giving, the way they unfolded won’t ever change.

Lies. Cheating. Mourning. Scheming. Hiding.

I wouldn’t want that to ever be a part of my love story. But maybe that doesn’t bother her, to each their own. Like I responded though, I appreciate the sentiment but I cannot give my blessing or accept an apology while she is still tied to him. Discernment is clear. I also let her in on a multitude of facts, words, situations concerning him that are purely truth. We have tangible evidence concerning the majority. And I say we because there are witnesses and friends to those words.

In fact, after my in-person chat with him last week on April 12th, he took a phone call from one of my friends. To which he explained his feelings of both love and happiness within our relationship but also that he does not feel good enough for me. He never mentioned the other woman. 

My question to her is, would you want to be the one he is insulting by way of this comment? He isn’t good enough for me, but he's good enough for you? I wouldn’t want that to be said to others which is why I let you know. It wasn’t to hurt you but to help you - to which you didn’t deserve the help. Because, you knew from day one what kind of man he was. You told me that you were waiting to see but any man who does what he did WITH you is not the man of God that one would assume you’d want to find.

I wish I had been warned. She was. I wouldn’t wish these feelings or trials on my worst enemy. But then again, she was perfectly okay with his behavior while it suited her. Discern all she likes but what’s been done cannot be erased and that icky feeling we all get in our stomachs when we’re up to no good may subside with time but the memories won’t.

It’s easy and comfortable to have someone next to you. It’s hard to say no. It was hard for me to repeat “get your things” that night. And I said it through tears. But I knew that I had to. I had no choice but to save myself and my daughter. This other woman knows I am not lying to her. There’s got to be some kind of pit in her stomach that tells her something isn’t right. It’s not a fantasy love connection. He has those with everyone.

The woman before me was his lost high school love. I think she hates me, and I understand that. But I hope at some point in time she knows that I did not have even a whisper of warning about her until a couple of weeks ago. And me? I was the girl from high school he never got a chance with. He watched me from afar for years and couldn’t muster the courage to speak to me. Mind you, neither of those stories were spoken to just us women, they were told to our friends. But their story? I'm not sure it can ever be spun enough to make a beautiful beginning.

He used this new woman as his scapegoat from reality. He whispered words to her to make her feel like she was extra special and different from the rest. She was the reason he could change for the better. I know that feeling all too well and it's so easy to get sucked into it. He used her place as a means to run away from putting his money where his mouth was, metaphorically and figuratively. It was time to grow up and start walking the walk he was so keen on participating in and guiding me through. He's not chasing the game. He won me and then left me because the fun was over. But the joke is on him, my prize came in the form of clarity for seeing what he really is. 

She just really wants to believe him, and I understand that. I wanted to believe him too. I still do. But I’m also smarter than that. I’m also smarter than to become a pawn in their cover up. You can’t cover up the fact you brought a very attached man into your home when the idea of entertaining him should have never crossed your mind, instead it should have been a big, bright, glowing, red flag to run.

She’s got to realize that I was told the same sweet things. The same “I’ve never felt like this before,” it was told to me ... the same was told my mother ... the same was to told OUR friends ... How can you be “baby” now when just a couple weeks ago I was told that I’d always be his baby as he walked out my front door with bags in his hand - headed to your house? And if it’s not your house, or your bed, it’s another woman’s. Within less than one year he’s moved into three women’s lives, in a way that was selfish, cruel, and clearly ... wrong.

“Grace, there is no one else. There never will be anyone else,” he repeated.

Strange isn’t it?

That’s called getting played. And right now he’s out of moves. The only move he has is the only woman that’s giving him an option. The only move he has is to save as much face with the option that has his new job attached to it because it could get really, really hostile on the bench. A job that he wanted to further his career and “family,” - his reference to me and Claire, not my own.

Signing off with a whole lot of Blue Devil Pride 💙💙💙

P.S. I suggest taking a really good listen to Taylor Swift's "Getaway Car."
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