Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Don't Be The Guy

"We would have dated back in college but you always had that ding-a-ling stuck up your ass."

Okay so those may not have been the most romantic of words, but they were still warmly welcomed. I knew him in college. We joked around all of the time. He copied off of me in statistics and was an old roommate of thou who shall not be named. It should be mentioned that he got an A in stat, you're welcome. 

Coffee in his truck and talking about the stars and the conspiracies we've both read about time travel, he didn't have those eyes or that smirk that I had been thinking about for a few weeks but he did have a solid beard and great taste in cologne. He kissed my forehead. He kissed my cheek. We hugged tightly and he kissed my neck. He said, "Yeah, I didn't know how far along we were here," when he realized nothing else was happening. I giggled.

 He's incredibly attractive but there was nothing inside that made me want more, at least not yet. That kind of upsets me though because he did something that struck a nerve. Touching my ring finger ever-so-lightly a few times throughout the night he'd say, "what an idiot," or "I knew something was off about him." That last touch though, "this won't be empty for long Grace," got me thinking...

Don't be the guy that loses her because he won't open his mouth. He and I had been talking about this. What if he had said something to me six years ago? I had a crush on him then. He would wave and be flirtatious with me but I had a boyfriend and had absolutely no clue that he would have been interested in me otherwise. He told me I was oblivious to all signals. He told me that I'm terrible at realizing when there's a man looking at me in a way that's more than just "Hey, you're just another human and I'm not attracted to you." Apparently I need lessons in all of the above. 

Don't be the guy that gets scared of his own feelings, or the woman he's talking to and her feelings and stops everything without an explanation. Why ruin something worth the experience because you're too fearful of a conversation? You have no idea how much respect and effort you'll get from the other person when you add a bit of humility to your everyday life. 

Don't be the guy that loses her because you think there might be something better or easier. This just makes you a complete dumbass. Nothing easy is worth your time, including people. And you'll realize when nothing better comes along that you had the best right in front of you. That's how life works, in fact, that's how karma works. 

Don't be the guy that's known for his flakiness or his disappearance. Mr. MIA isn't the guy who gets loyalty. He's the guy that gets that shit thrown right back into his face, which is a shame because those are the ones that need it the most. The ones with chips on their shoulders and bitterness swirling throughout their hearts, they need the loyalty the most and won't get it if they're pegged as unreliable. 

He told me I was different now though. He said that I seemed to have more confidence and it was "very attractive." I responded, "No, I think I'm just more comfortable with myself now." 

"Grace, that's pretty much the definition of confidence," he said.

"Touche," I replied.

He told me that he saw the fire in my work. He said that was "very attractive" as well. And I in turn found it incredibly attractive that he noticed and he liked it and he wasn't freaked out by the thought of this offbeat path I was trying to pave. He says so many right things that I only hope that I end up feeling the right ways. Right now he's still just the dude that lived next door and played a lot of Playstation and smelled like beer. But he's also the dude that ran into me on Cardiac Hill one morning when it was raining and made me fall flat on my butt. In turn he then walked me to my history class, waited til it was over, bought me coffee and kept his arm around my shoulders the entire time. I never forgot that and always wondered why he did it. 

1 comment

  1. Love reading all your posts. Everything you are writing about is so relatable even for those that aren't going through the same specific situation as you. Very inspiring.


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