Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Light As A Feather, Stiff As A Board

Who played the game at a sleepover when you were younger? You'd freak yourselves out. It would never work. There would be giggles. And nerves. But it's also how I feel on a daily basis. 

Light as a feather, Stiff as a board.

Everyday is a new rollercoaster for me. I'll be driving in the car and feel good. Actually, I'll feel free and relieved of the stress that I was holding in subconsciously for months before the breaking point. I feel weightless and light. I smile and get excited for the future. But then I remember. And then I snap back. I'm stiff. I can't move. 

The ebb and flow of my emotions can be exhausting. I never truly knew what being "emotionally drained" meant until this year. 

But then days like today come around. I find myself not analyzing or stressing. My anxiety lessens and I let fate run its course. I feel good about myself, my conscious is clear and I can hit the pillow at night without second-guessing my own life's story.

I wear clothes that are too big for me a lot. I have strong intuition, but that doesn't mean it's ever right. I wear purple lipstick. I have a weakness for Simply Orange juice. I have nice hair. I have a terrible sense of good TV. I love green, but I hate grass. I like rocks though. I like to believe that I was a mermaid in another life although the ocean isn't my favorite either. I'd rather be in the mountains, exploring a new city or enjoying my homebody ways. I used to be obsessed with Jolly Rogers. I kind of think I may have been a pirate at some point in time too. I believe Lucille Ball and Kate Winslet are some of the most beautiful of all time. I correct people and their misuse or mispronunciation of words before realizing that I sound like a snot. I apologize for it though. And someone is going to love all of these things. 

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