Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The "High-Maintenance" Myth

    Over the weekend, I read an article in Glamour's July 2013 edition called "Why It's Good to be High Maintenance" by Amber Madison (author of Are All Guys Assholes?).

 It's been a long time since I read something that moved me that much, that I felt so strongly about. I am so compelled by the eloquent way this woman put some of my thoughts onto paper that I just want to make copies and tape the article to the face of every woman and teenager I come across. I felt so passionate towards it, I cut it out of Glamour magazine and it's in safekeeping for Claire to see someday, it's something that she'll need to read and let resonate. 

We hear the term "high maintenance" all the time in reference to women. Most of the time it's women who like to shop, like to wear heels, do their hair and paint their nails. We also hear the term in reference to women who simply ask and tell what they want. Whether it be how they're ordering a particular sandwich or what they expect out of their partner. Well, I've been calling that, for lack of a better word, complete crap, for years. And finally, someone else shouted it from the rooftops.

This article isn't particularly long but it packs quite the punch. Here are some of my favorite snippets:

"Women worry about losing a guy if they ask too much," says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., a New York city therapist. "So we tend to put men's needs above our own and hide what we want in a relationship." 

"Ladies, we're being ridiculous! Wanting to know where a relationship is going is not high maintenance."

"Perhaps we're afraid of expressing ourselves in relationships because deep down we fear that the men we're with don't want to be with us. We worry that if we make a peep, we'll wake the sleeping giant..."

"One reason showing your high maintenance side can be scary: To get what you need, you have to say what you need, and that means being vulnerable. But what's scarier? Pretending everything's peachy all the time, because then you'll end up with a guy who treats your feelings the way you do - as if they don't exist."

How many of you know women who do this? I know several - and that's too many. Too many women play a particular part so their man thinks they're this easy, breezy lady, when inside they're completely unfulfilled but are trying to fulfill themselves with this idea of a great man while suppressing their own wants and needs. It's crap, it's stupid and you won't live a very happy life in the long run. There's nothing special about being "low maintenance," when you'll be a lot more respected when you expect your expectations to be met. 

Read the full article here.

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Thursday, May 14, 2015

My Hometown

Several years ago I used to think that there was an “over the rainbow” out of small town USA but I was granted a new appreciation as I got a bit older. There’s that small town stereotype that has White House in a chokehold. Not to mention that we’re in the south, which only reinforces that stereotype. 

I use Facebook to chat with far away family, annoy some of my good friends and share my daily posts from around the blogosphere but it's hard not to log in and get a bit frustrated. I’m frustrated because people who should be at the heart of the potential of White House are adding to the preconceived notions with their pessimistic and disapproving remarks. 

I’ve been very blessed with parents that value culture. Throughout my still-short life, I’ve been privileged enough to see a lot of places across the country and overseas. And throughout those experiences, I’ve learned that the cliché, “There’s no place like home,” is my reality because in this world it doesn't get much better than a reliable place to live. Unfortunately, I’ve been seeing many from the White House community complaining about the city. I wonder if they know how lucky they are. 

There are so many people around the world, country, state… that would love and appreciate the opportunity to live here. There are so many people who aren’t fortunate enough to see friendly faces everyday or have a safe place to sleep at night. 

And if you’re complaining about the people here… 

News Flash: There are ignorant people and immature people everywhere. That’s life. Change the small-town stereotype by educating yourself before you add to the overall perception by venting rude, petty frustrations on the Internet. Seriously, think about the message you’re sending out every time you make those comments because they can’t be taken back. If you’re giving out negative energy, I wouldn’t expect something better in return.


I challenge you to value your home, wherever that may be. 

It just so happens I’m from a place that values something as simple as high school football and homecoming parades. And I appreciate the fact that something as simple as high school football can bring an entire community together. 

I appreciate driving home at night realizing there isn't anyone on the roads because the whole town is at home already. Safe. That doesn’t mean that tragedies don't happen here and won’t happen again. But look at the statistics, we’re safe. That’s not “small town.” It just means we’re around people who enjoy the little things in life.

And those little things we take for granted everyday, are what so many people would love to experience. There are far more pressing matters to discuss and be disgusted about in this world than the fact that you run into someone you know every time you go to Wal-Mart. Or the fact that we have a Wal-Mart is still a pretty big deal to everyone.

Enjoy the little things and appreciate your privileges, remember not everybody gets them.


Saturday, May 9, 2015

Our First Mother's Day Together

Grandmom  (My Mommy) and Claire

I grew up with a mom that was, and still is, the warmest of the warm. Easy to talk to, easy to be around and never a worry in the world when you're with her, she's a mommy to anyone and everyone she's with. That's included boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, teammates and family members outside our immediate tribe, she's innately, tenaciously caring. Which means if you've done her children wrong she's also tenaciously protective. 

I hope to be that for my baby girl. 

I hope to be the one she comes to whenever there's a problem, a happy moment, a small, excitable experience she wants to share. I hope to be the one she wants to spend time with when she's a toddler and spend great moments of life with when she's older. 

And I'm so happy that every time Claire takes a peek in my mommy's direction, a huge smile widens on her face and they both giggle. 

My days are now filled with morning coos, tiny fingers tugging at my hair, toothless smiles, peekaboo snuggles and an incredible amount of captured moments. 

Happy Mother's Day to every mommy out there, especially my own. And loads of hugs and kisses are to be rained down on my baby Claire today, for allowing me to be her mommy and introducing me to this new, magical life. 

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

Get Your Business Cards Circulating With Tiny Prints

A lot of people don't know what I do. Even after they ask and I tell them there's usually a confused, squishy look on their face. Like they don't know what to make of it. And secretly I know they're thinking, "Does she make any money?"

To all those who are confused about what I do "for a living." Here's your answer. I'm a freelance writer. What does that mean? That means I work for myself and I'm contracted by companies, people, websites and a whole host of other possibilities to write for them. I write blogs posts, articles, artist promos, slogans, bios ... the list can go on and on. You name it, I've written some form of it. 

Now your next question is, how do you make money? Well, they pay me! I have weekly jobs writing for several different websites and media agencies but I also have some type of side gig going on almost all the time. It's fun, it's sometimes overwhelming and it's not the typical get in the car job and leave work. For me, my work is with me all the time. But parts of what I do comes with a lot of self-determination. It is really easy to sit on the couch and not walk into the office all day. But if I don't walk into the office I'm missing a deadline and then this uphill hike I'm climbing will quickly come to an end. I'm no where near where I want to be in my career. For me, this job I'm doing is not something I'm doing for a living but something I'm doing with my life. And I'm so fortunate to have a husband and parents who whole-heartedly accept the fact that I'm not the typical 9-5 lady. 

Now in terms of my "side gigs," which are usually larger projects. How do I get those? For lack of a better term, I hustle for them. And a big part of that hustle is letting people know who I am and what I do. That's where my business cards come in and how to get them circulating throughout the community. I've compiled 5 quick tips on how to get your cards in the hands of people you need them to be in and it all starts with a great design. Where did I get mine? Tiny Prints!

1. Standout Designs.
 With a unique design or shade, your cards won't be thrown right into the recycle bin. Well, they'll at least be looked at beforehand. Pick out a design (or design your own) that matches your personality. Also, make sure the quality is good. You don't want a flimsy piece of cardstock to land into the hands of your next client. For example, my cards have a chevron print on the front and the back - they're square instead of the usual rectangle and they're sturdy enough to withstand time in a cluttered wallet.
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards
2. Never Leave Without Them.
There is no excuse not to have a stash with you at all times. You could meet your next client in line at the grocery store or at the movies! If you have them with you, there's no excuse not to hand them out to any and all possibilities.
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards 3. Leave Them With The Tip.
I do this all the time. Leave one of your cards with the tip! You never who know might snatch it up or if the waiter or waitress has a need for your services. It's a painless way to get them into someone's hands.
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards4. Don't be afraid.
Leaving your card with the tip after a meal is a great option, but you shouldn't be afraid to offer up your card during conversation. There are lots of times when I'm out and about, I get into a conversation with someone and somehow my work comes up. Whether they just want to take a look at my personal blog or snoop around my online portfolio I gladly give one right to them! 
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards5. The Bulletin Boards.
I love these. It's just another painless, easy way to get yourself or your business seen (and eventually heard). Whenever you see a bulletin board or a card jar, grab one out of your purse or wallet and add it to the mix. You never know what could happen!  
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards  photo DHow To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards
  Lastly, I have to thank Tiny Prints. There selection is one of the best and most inspiring. I've used other companies before to print my cards and the design or quality wasn't near what it was when these cuties showed up in the mail.
How To Get Your Business Cards Circulating, Business Card Designs, Tiny Prints Business Cards

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